The dilemma

You catch your reflection as you get dressed, and the joke your partner just made, that you always overdo it, sits heavier than usual. You know this feeling well: the quiet shrinking, then weeks of warmth that make you doubt it happened at all. All week your partner has been oddly gentle, and now they wait by the door, tense, patting their jacket pocket. The table is booked for eight.

Your options

1. Go, keep the night pleasant, and save this talk for a calmer day.
2. At the table tonight, finally say what these years have felt like.
3. Tell them you cannot celebrate this year as if nothing is wrong.